


Rachel's Way Out

by reddish_umbrella



Series: The Long Journey Home [1]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Dick as Dad, Family Bond, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Maybe some fluff later, Multichapter, Popular Trope, Recoveryfic, Sickfic, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25172512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddish_umbrella/pseuds/reddish_umbrella
Summary: When Rachel's get her head injured during a mission, she looses all her memories about herself but also her history.Suddenly Dick's is confronted with the decision if he wants to keep her that way to provide her the chance of normal life...but the way out is never the easy one.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven
Series: The Long Journey Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853008
Comments: 21
Kudos: 26





	1. Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I downrated the story to "Teens and up" as this story has no too graphical violence going on. The story deals with the mental backlash of having amnesia, so be prepared. And my characters tend to swear. 
> 
> Hi fellow readers of this wonderful father-and-daughter-relationship (do we have a name? We prob should because that sounds very fabricated ;-) 
> 
> first of: I have to dedicated this whole story to the wonderful @Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97 !  
> She made me really fall in love with these two characters and their chemistry. So much I started to write a multichapter and I just recently started out my "career" as fanfiction writer. So, thank you very much for opening my eyes to the endless possibility with these two! I cannot get enough of them and especially of your fics! I highly recommand them! 
> 
> This story isn't very original, but I wanted to try out a typical (fan-)fiction trope for once. And in Rachel's case it was so easy to get her in the whole amnesia setting, so I might getting rough on her and Dick. I do apologise ... ah well no, I don't really. You have to endure the angst, because it will end on a lighter note. Just to give a warning...I am not comic reader, so to spare myself of getting something totally wrong I made the villain up. Hope it isn't that much of a sacrilege.  
> Enough said, please enjoy the story and as always I'm looking for to hopefully receive kudos and comments!

Gar remembered exactly how it happened. They were fighting against this guy Dr. Shoekeeper downtown San Francisco. He was known to kidnap young women and torture them to death by experiencing with them. After their eventual death, he always kept a souvenir, one single shoe. Garfield shuddered thinking of it. What was it anyway with these guys? 

It took all power of the assembled Titans to get him under control. Nightwing took the lead, Rachel and Gar were staying back. As Gar tried to get the Dr. Shoekeeper accomplices under control, Rachel was marching to one of the handymen, using all your power to get to him pinned at the wall. Her eyes lit up red, full in focus she didn’t notice how another sleaze bag was approaching her from behind. Before Gar could react and run over to her, the culprit had attacked her with his flamethrower. The fireball caught her from the side, throwing her over and smashed against the wall. She collapsed on the ground like a lifeless doll. Garfield lunged at her attacker, the flames burning in his fur, but he couldn’t stop. He grabbed him with his claws and sharp teeth and threw him with all his power to the other side of the warehouse. Garfield roared in agony as he tried to move to Rachels body. Her suit had catched fire and it was melting slowly on her skin. He noticed how Dick got to her swiftly, picking her body from the ground and carry her out of the warehouse. Gar was dragged out of the flames by Kory, who was standing behind him out of nowhere. 

"You have to get out here before everything explodes!" With open wide eyes, he saw how the whole place had turned into a fiery hell within seconds. Without thinking twice all Titans pulled back immediately. 

The next time Garfield saw Rachel as she was laying in the infirmary, covered up with compresses to treat her burns. According to Dawn, who was the responsible paramedic and the doctor on the side, Rachel had several severe burns of 2rd degree, broken ribs, and got a serious blow to her head, which left her still unconscious. Dick sat beside her, holding her hand and visibly stressed out. His hands trembled and he seemed angry and worried at the same time. Donna sat beside him, squeezed his shoulder softly, and tried to reassure him.  
“She will wake up again, Dick.”  
"She shouldn't be there in the first place!", exclaimed Dick, desperately.  
"She's still a kid, why was I so stupid to allow her to come to the mission?"  
“Because we both know Rachel is very strong and capable to look out for herself. She wouldn’t just sit here and wait, and you know that.”  
Dick just shook his head, covering his head with his hands, and tried to hide any upcoming tears.  
Garfield looked on the ground, he felt like he was intruding private space. He turned around and went to bed. 

Dick couldn’t sleep. He had done many missions, he was used to losing people, in private as in a professional setting. He shouldn't be that bothered by Rachels's injuries, but he was. Relentlessly he walked around his room until he couldn’t take it anymore. He took his black leather jacket and made his way to the elevator. On his way he went by the infirmary, the door wide open. He didn’t want to see her damaged body again, but he couldn’t help it and he peeked inside. Her bed was empty.  
“Rachel?” Instantly he felt alert and went inside. The covers of the bed were folded back, her pillow rustled. He looked around in the dark, illuminated only by the blinking bulbs of the medical machinery around the bed  
“Rachel?”, he said once again, panic rising in his voice. He turned on the ceiling light. The room was empty, someone went visibly through the stuff there. Was she taken away? He heard a noise coming from the adjoining bathroom. Silently he sneaked over there, looked around the room for some sort of weapon. He saw laying his Escrima sticks and took one of them. He gave the bathroom door a small push and entered the room. Someone was in there, he couldn't see who, but he felt the presence. He inhaled deeply, prepared himself for the worst, and pushed the light switch.  
“Rachel?”, he said surprised and he saw her standing there. Her back was turned to him and she was staring in the mirror in front of her. Her face looked confused and worried.  
She caught his look and turned around. She was visibly shaken, her face pale and her lips trembling. The compressions were falling off her damaged skin.  
Slowly, Dick put the Escrima stick down. He breathed out slowly.  
“You shouldn’t be up, Rachel. You’re seriously hurt.”  
He looked at her, expecting to say something. She opened her mouth and tried to say something, but only coughing came out. Her ragged breathing made Dick wince internally and he stretched out an arm to her. She looked down at it, her look was bewildered. She opened once again her lips and to say something. Her voice was hoarse and only above a whisper.  
“Who are you? And…who am I?”  
Before Dick could answer, she started to sway uncontrollably, and Dick managed to catch her before she fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, are you ready for the ANGST?  
> We will all go down the rabbit hole! *devious laughter* 
> 
> But to share some positivity: today is my birthday, so have a nice day on my accord and of course on your own, too. See you in the next chapter!


	2. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the first suspicion seems to come true, Dick is confronted to make an impossible decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have to warn you that I really, really like to torture my characters? Yes? Okay, considered yourself warned.

Dick laid Rachels's body softly on the bed and called for Dawn immediately. He caressed her cheeks, his eyes full of worry. Dawn entered the infirmary in her PJs and looked at him questionably. 

“She woke up and got up. She asked me who I am and who she is”, explained Dick.   
Dawn sighed. “She got quite a blow to the head, so maybe she was just confused. Did she fall unconscious again?”   
Dick nodded. 

“So, we have to let her sleep." She sat down on the other edge of the bed and patted Rachel’s hand. "Maybe you should call the doctor again, so she can check on her when she's awake." Dick nodded, took his phone out of his pocket, and went into the floor to call the doc. She promised she would be there shortly. 

Dawn and he waited on Rachel’s side, but nothing happened. Rachel was just laying there, breathing normally. Dawn started to yaw and stretched her arms. “I think I’m gonna back to the bed if you don’t need me right now.”   
“All right”, said Dick, “I’m going to stay.”   
Dawn looked at him with sad eyes. "I figured." She was about to get outside when the doctor entered the room.   
“How is our patient?”, she asked Dawn.   
Dawn looked back to Dick. “Well, she couldn’t remember her or Dicks name.”   
“Shit”, said the doc. “That’s not a good sign. Maybe she was just momentarily confused.”   
“Or what?”, said Dick nervously.   
“Or she has amnesia.” 

Rachel tried to unlatch her eyes. The bright lights were dazzling her, and she squinted her eyes. Her head pounded so intensely, she had the feeling it was only seconds away to burst. Someone touched her hand, squeezed it softly, and was speaking with her. She closed her eyes again, putting her hands on her temples rubbing them. Someone was touching her shoulder, softly shaking her. This brought her back to reality. She opened her eyes and looked in the face of a worried man, she didn't know. He was touching her at her shoulder and squeezed them gently. This made her skin crawl and her chest tightened in fear. She wiped his hands from her shoulders and pushed herself back to the headboard. 

“Don’t touch me! I don’t know you!” The man was staring at her, confused and hurt.   
A woman with long blond hair was approaching her, taking her left hand. “Rachel…”   
Abrupt Rachel took her hand away. “Leave me alone!”, she screamed. “I don’t know you!”   
The man tried to get her to relax, reaching out for her hands. "Rachel, you're in the Titans Tower in San Francisco…"   
“Leave me be!”, she yelled. She was almost standing upwards, noticing her wounds around her body. Her body felt extremely sore and hurt like hell.  
"GO AWAY FROM ME!", she yelled with all lung power she had. Her breath was hitching, she felt like she couldn't breathe anymore. She heart was panic-fuelled, and she felt like being paralyzed. This made the feeling around her chest even more narrow and life-threatening.   
“Rachel”, said the man with lot concern in his face. “You have to calm down. You’re hyperventilating and you will pass out again if you don’t stop.” She didn't listen. She didn't know him, she was in a strange place, didn't remember her name and her whole body hurt. She felt like she was about to die. 

The man tried to reach out to her once again as she completely lost it. She lunged at him with her both hands, but he stopped her and hold her wrist in a stern grip.  
“Please Rachel, you have to calm down!”, he pleaded with her.   
“Hold her down”, said a female voice which Rachel couldn’t identify.   
“Rachel, I will give you something to relax.” The voice was approaching her from the side, holding up a needle filled with transparent liquid.   
“NONONO!”, Rachel cried and tried with all her power to get out of the hold of the man, but she had no chance. She felt the needle pierced into the skin of her right forearm and was feeling how she slowly fell heavier.   
“Noo…”, she protested lightly as her world fell black. The unknown man was still holding in his arms, looking deeply concerned and sad. 

“I have to run some tests, but that seems like amnesia to me”, told the doctor Dawn and Dick after Rachel finally slept and Dick could set her down. It broke his heart to keep her restrained when the doctor was injecting the tranquilizer into Rachels's arm. Her panicked look and ragged breath would haunt Dick forever.   
"What does mean? Will she remember her name again? Did she forget all of it and why?” Dick inquired.   
The doctor sighed softly. "Well, it's not so easy to answer. There are different kinds of amnesia, she might recover, but there is the possibility she might not. Maybe she lost all her memories or only throughout a certain period in her life. She might also have problems forming new memories. It's the brain, it's very complicated. I have to run some tests tomorrow to have a more precise diagnosis." She laid her hand on Dicks shoulder.   
"Let her sleep for now. The drug will wear off in some hours, try to approach her carefully when she wakes up again. No touching and keep the distance. That seems to freak her out. And please, call me.” 

Dick nodded and the doctor left. He was looking at Dawn, who rested her back against the wall, looking at the sleeping Rachel. In this state, she looked so peaceful, like nothing happened.   
“Maybe”, said Dawn softly, “this could be her chance to start over. If she doesn't regain the memories again, she could have a chance for a normal life. She wouldn't remember the betrayal of her mother and father, all the awful things she witnessed and happened to her. Wouldn't be that something we all should support?"  
"You mean I should withhold information about her to protect her? That doesn't seem right, Dawn.”   
“Well…is it right to see your foster mum and your biological parents die? I don’t think so.” She pushed herself away from the wall and sighed once again deeply.   
“Think about it, Dick. I’m going to bed now. We have to deal with this tomorrow.”   
Dick look lingered on her as she left the room. His eyes move back to Rachel in the bed, sleeping peacefully and without any fear in her face. Would it be the right decision to withhold information to give her a chance of a better life? Dick groaned. He didn't know the answer to those questions. It also seemed a thing he shouldn’t decide on his own. But he was responsible for her, so he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always looking forward to comments and kudos!


	3. Atonement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has to face the reality and Dick his guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is another shorter chapter of exposition. The fourth one will be also still exposition, before your head and the story explodes with the fith one. ;-)  
> I could have probably put them together, but I didn't. I hope it's not too dull, but I still think it is important to understand Rachel and Dick's position. I will update the story every other day, so you get enough material to read. Next update is going to be on thursday.

Rachels eyes lids were so heavy, it felt lifting weights to get them open. She blinked several times and tried to take her surroundings in. Through the blinds, the light sneaked into the room and illuminated the sparse room. This time she was alone, and nobody tried to touch her. She looked down on her, taking all the small details in. Her left wrist was connected to an infusion, where the liquid in the transparent bag slowly dropped down the plastic pipes into her bloodstream.

As she tried to take it out, the doctor from last night was stepping in her eyesight. "I wouldn't do that if you were. That tends to get very bloody if not done right."  
“Who are you?”, asked Rachel angry.  
“I am Doctor Halsey. I’m here to treat your burns and look into your memory loss.”  
Rachel looked around. The man from yesterday who held her down was standing in the door frame. Guilt painted all over his face. Rachel bit her lips as she felt the anger rising in her.  
“Where am I?”, she snapped at the doctor. “And who is this?" She glared at the man. His eyes were clouded and his look peered away from her.  
“Rachel, you’re in San Francisco in your…home”, said the doctor hesitantly.  
“In my home?”, Rachel asked dubiously. The doctor glanced over to the man for help.  
Finally, he lifted his head and answered.  
“Yes, in your home.” He sighed and made some unsure steps towards her bed. Instantly Rachel’s body visibly cramped up. Even if he saw it, the man seems to ignore it.  
“I’m Dick. Dick Grayson and I’m your…I’m looking out for you”, he said softly. He looked at the doctor, unsure to do next.  
“Do you know your name?”, asked the doctor Rachel.  
Rachel started to laugh, but her ribs hurt like hell, so she stopped.  
“No, but you all call me Rachel, so I guess it’s Rachel.”  
“Do you remember your birthday?”  
“No.”  
“Your favourite TV show?”  
“No!” Rachel burst out of anger. “I have no fucking clue who I am, who you are all, or how this happened! What I know I feel lost, angry, everything hurts, and I am fucking hungry!" A sob escaped her throat and she felt how hot tears were running down her cheeks.  
“Rachel, look at me”, said the doctor. She ignored her. She was feeling so awful and didn’t remember anything at all. Everything felt strange to her and the pain in her head was driving her slowly nuts.  
“Rachel…please”, begged the doctor once again and tried to take her hand away from her face. Rachel irked her hand away.  
“Leave me alone!”  
“Rachel…I…”  
“ LEAVE ME ALONE!” She yelled and tried to lunge at her. Before she could get to Doctor Halsey, Dick was standing in front of her, holding her wrist in his firm grip.  
“Rachel. Listen to me.” He looked at her, directly in her eyes. Somehow, she had the feeling she knew his voice.  
"It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. Breathe in and breathe out." Dick gave her expectant look, Rachel just stared back at him in confusion.  
“Breath in”, he said and laid her right hand on his chest, breathing in.  
“And then breath out.” He set her left hand on his chest and breathed out. Rachel gazed at him bewildered but started to breathe in and breath out as he told her to. She felt her anger disappear, only to be replaced with a feeling of lingering sadness and fatigue. She closed her eyes to keep her tears away from falling down her cheeks. Dick took her hand in his own, squeezed them gently, and carefully set her hands down on the blanket around her legs.  
“I’m going to get you something to eat”, he mumbled. “Doc, you’re coming?” 

"I can confirm to you that Rachel has amnesia." The room fell silent. All the titans were assembled in the living room. Dick was standing further away, leaning against the kitchen isle.  
"That means she cannot access her memories from a certain point on. In Rachel's case, it seems to apply to her complete life span. I am assuming that her amnesia didn’t occur only because of her head injury in the accident. I suppose it's also trauma-induced. It’s most likely she is in a state of dissociative fugue. “  
Garfield had puzzled look on his face. “What does that mean exactly? Will she remember us again?”  
“There is a chance that’s her amnesia is reversible, and her memories will return. That can take from days to years.”  
“Fuck”, uttered Hank.  
“What are we going to do with her? How will this work with her power?”, questioned Kory. "To be honest…I have no idea. Maybe she has no power yet because her brains suppress this information. But as her memories will return, her powers will most likely also return.”  
"But will she able to handle them?" Dawn's gaze laid worryingly on Dick. Halsey looked over to him as he sighed deeply.  
“I don’t know”, he said finally. “But we will do everything, so she gets to handle them again. We've been there already; we will get her back to where she was.”  
"Always remember that people who are suffering from dissociative fugue tend to involve in unsafe and unusual behaviour. You should look out for her. Constantly.”  
Dick nodded. He wished he could say he was doing this anyway, but as her accident proved he wasn’t doing his job right. The guilt was tightening around his chest.  
“So, she won’t be joining the team any time soon”, said Jason.  
“No, she won’t. Our priority is to do help to gain her memory and identity again and overcome her traumatic experience", said Dick, looking in the faces of the team. "But that doesn't make her less family and we will treat her as such.”  
“That was never the question, Dick”, said Donna quietly, “she was and always will be a part of this family. We all will do our best to get her healthy again.”  
Dick smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. The guilt which was laying on him was weighing too much. 

“Dick!”  
He turned as Donna was standing behind him. He was carrying a bowl of chocolate pudding with whipped cream on it. One of Rachel’s favourite dessert.  
“You know it’s not your fault?”  
“Donna…I’m responsible for her and she got hurt because of my inadvertence.”  
“Dick, you cannot load that on you. She was attacked by one of the handymen of this dipshit. And you heard Doc Haley, the amnesia is most likely rooted in her previous traumatic experiences."  
Dick shook his head. “I can’t….I feel like I failed her…once again.”  
Donna took his forearms and looked deeply into his eyes. "You didn't fail her. It wasn’t your fault what happened at the warehouse. That could happen to every one of us. We’re all in this knowing the risk. We will all help her to get her memories back. She after all still family and we love her. Even if it takes years and a lot of effort…we won't abandon her." She let her hands sink.  
"Dick, promise to me that you won't beat you up because of this. She will recognize you, eventually. I know and I refuse to believe otherwise. Okay?"  
Dick nodded slowly and tried to smile.  
“You’ve got this Boy Wonder.” Donna gave him a friendly smack to the shoulder and turned around. Dick inhaled deeply before he entered the infirmary. 

Rachel was laying in her bed, her chest peacefully raising and sinking. He approached her noiselessly, put the down the bowl of chocolate pudding on her bed stand. Carefully he touched her pale hand. “Rachel?” She opened her eyes, blinked, and looked at him.  
"Dick", she mumbled.  
Dick felt a sting to his heart. Everything felt like almost before the accident. Until Rachel got up and instinctively put distance between him and her. He decided he was going to ignore it.  
“I brought you chocolate pudding.” He handed her the bowl and she eagerly took it.  
As she was shovelling the pudding in her, he looked at her and smiled slightly.  
“Do you like it?”  
“Yeah!”, she said enthusiastically, “what’s not to like? It’s chocolate pudding with whipped cream!”  
He chuckled inaudible as he was seeing a glimpse of the old Rachel. She will be herself again soon. Hopefully.  
“Rachel…” he started and looked down on her. She paused her scooping and looked up.  
“Dick?”  
“Whatever the future…brings; I will be there for you. I will watch out for you and I promise you…something like that will never again happen to you. Please trust me on that.”  
He dropped his gaze as Rachel was sitting there, silently. She didn't respond, just gazing in the distance. The silence between was stretching uncomfortably long.  
“Okay”, said Rachel suddenly without turning her head.  
He looked up.  
“I don’t you know, but I will trust you.” She looked in his eyes and he saw something flicker in there. Trust? Hope? Something which he could build on. He smiled and this time the smile reached his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments - also critism if constructive! - and kudos are welcome!


	4. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel wants to move on with her life, but she can't. And it isn't all her own fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dears Readers, 
> 
> I finally did it. Today I finished this fanfiction, my first completed fanfiction.   
> When I checked the words count I fell almost from the chair. The fic is longer than my bachelor thesis xD   
> If counted together the story has 17K words. That means for you about 30 pages of Dick& Rachel reading material...  
> for me that's insane. Because I used to do poems, because I was not able to write longer things. But there we are...I proved to myself that I am actually capable to write longer stories. Time to become the next George R. R. Martin xD (just kidding!) 
> 
> This chapter does deal again with some of the exposition before we head up to the action chapter 5. If you are bored by it - promise, it will get better (I hope so at least ;-))

The days went by swiftly. Rachels wounds started to heal, even her ribs pained her still on move but she wasn’t immobile at least. Her headache started to faint, but she felt heavy and drained from her energy every day. At least…physically. Mentally she felt angry and completely lost. She tried so hard to remember things, but nothing worked. Of course, she knew how to do basic things like calculate, read, write…but everything related to her personality and history was gone. She didn’t remember what her favourite colour, TV show or pizza topping was. When she asked Dick about it, he smirked. “Nothing with pineapple on it.” He saw her frustrated look in her face and added: "Your brain needs time, Rachel. Try not to push it so much all the time. Your memories will come back eventually."   
Even the other people – they all introduced themselves as their family, which she found very weird - of the tower visited her. Garfield, Jason, Rose, Dawn, Hank…she couldn't remember any of them. Everything was blank, even if they all were very nice and obliging to her. There was nothing and it was frustrating. And nobody wanted to tell her why she had a gemstone on her forehead. They reacted elusive when she asked.   
“It’s a part of you, Rachel. That’s the most important thing which matters”, said Kory. Rachel liked Kory, but the vague answers made her aggrieved. She wanted to know the truth and she had a distinct feeling they all kept something important from her. 

Especially Dick’s urge to protect her all the time was something she couldn’t handle. On one side she was relieved that she wasn’t in here on her own, but on the other hand, he treated her like a small and fragile child. Unfortunately, she suffered from occasional attacks of lightheadedness. One day she was getting out of bed alone and sneaked into the kitchen. Suddenly a wave of dizziness hit her so hard, she started to see black dots dancing in front of her eyes. She lost her balance and hit her forehead at the kitchen counter. It was nothing serious, just scratch, but Dick almost lost it.   
“You just had an accident and have been severely injured, and the first you do is wandering off to the kitchen and almost got your head cracked up!” He was yelling at her.   
“It’s just a scratch Dick, nothing serious…”   
“You have amnesia because of your last head trauma! Rachel! The last thing I want you is to hit your head again!” His voice became louder and louder. He was so furious about her behaviour; she didn’t recognise him anymore. That wasn’t the man who desperately cared about her. Rachel felt how the rage tightened around her heart and her blood started to boil  
“I give a fuck, Dick! I give a goddamn fuck! I just wanted some ice cream and I give a fuck if you’re displeased. What’s the worst thing which could happen to me? I already lost my whole identity and all my memories! I don’t even feel like a human being anymore!” Her lips trembled violently. Tears were pricking in her eyes.   
“Rachel”, he started, but she wasn’t in the mood to get lectured from him.  
"I have nobody I could remember! What does it make a difference if I crack up my head at the kitchen counter? Who the actual fucks cares? Nobody!”   
“That’s not true”, he objected, “you have us…”   
“So what? You are obviously not my real family.”   
“We might be not your biological family, but everyone here loves and cares about you. And in the end, you are also my responsibility. I won’t let you risk your health and life out of sheer defiance!”   
She shot him deadly glares. “What you going to do? Lock me up?”   
Dick sighed and massage his temples. “You really don’t want to know, Rachel. You really don’t.” 

Dick wasn’t handling the situation with Rachel well and he was aware of it.   
His freak out about her passing out in the kitchen and hitting her head was a clear sign of his helplessness. He knew he reacted the wrong way lunging at her for her actions, but he was shit scared when he got a call from Dawn in the middle of the day. He was just checking out one of the warehouses, which has been linked to their recent advisory Dr. Shoekeeper.   
“Dick…it’s Rachel.” Dawn choose her wrote carefully. He knew it and that made it way worse. His heart skipped a beat.   
“She fainted in the kitchen and hit her head at the counter.” His hands trembled. He felt his chest tightened that he was barely able to breathe anymore.  
"Dick…Dick…are you still there? She's okay…I already call Doc Halsey. She said it just a bruise on her head. She was lucky."   
He breathed out. Slowly, the feeling around his chest faded. He cleared his throat.   
“I’m coming home.”  
“Dick…it’s not necessary. She’s okay. It was just a scare, that’s all.”   
He sighed deeply. “I was already done here, so I’m coming home.” He hung up and packed up his things. He wouldn’t normally speed, especially as nothing urgent was happening. At this moment he couldn't help himself. He had to check for himself. He needed to see her. 

After their argument he was sitting in the tech room, glaring at the screen. Even if he tried to concentrate, he couldn't. His thoughts were somewhere else. He still saw Rachels's angry face in front of him, telling him she had nothing to lose. He swallowed hard, it hurt him deeply to hear that. He groaned loudly, closed his eyes, and started to massage his lids.   
“You know…it’s very hard for Rachel.”   
Without looking up Dick answered. “I know, Kory. I am aware.”   
“Are you, Dick? Certainly? I don’t think so.”   
Kory sat down next to him. She touched his hand. Automatically he looked up.   
“There is nothing she can rely on right now. I know how devasting this feeling is. How much it does eat you up from the inside when you don't even know your name without someone is telling you." Kory stilled, chewed on her lip, and sighed. Tiredly. "She's just a kid. She has already seen way too much for her age and now she lost everything she could hold on. You should cut her some slack."   
Dick sighed. “I am trying, I honestly do. It’s hard…to see her..and feeling this..helpless..”, he felt his breath hitch and pressed his palms on his face.   
Kory squeezed his hand, reassuringly. “I know. It’s hard to care for someone in general, especially hard when these feelings aren’t reciprocated. Nevertheless, Rachel is still there. She might not remember your relationship with you right now, but that doesn’t mean you both won’t get back where you were. It’s hidden by all the traumatic experiences she went through, but it is still there. It isn’t lost, believe me.” She gave him one of her rare smiles.   
Dick nodded. He did understand her, and he wanted to help her in any way possible.   
The next day he arranged to get the adjoining room to his room set up for Rachel. She had still her initial room at the end of the floor; however, he felt better if he could have an eye on her. She wasn’t happy about the situation – as Dick’s room was the intersecting one – but at least it was better than staying in the infirmary. The place where everything remembered her how broken she was. Under Dick guarding eyes Rachel moved her stuff in her new room. 

Dick tried to give her space to heal and find herself and was trying to keep his urge to protect her from the rest of the world at bay. He was told by Garfield that it could be overbearing, and that Rachel might not handling this well, as she didn't have the same recollection of their missions and the danger as he did. So, he stayed out of her way when she moved in the adjoining room, only checked once as she was moving her things in. He talked with Doctor Halsey about her repeated lightheadedness and she confirmed that this was a regular symptom of a dissociative fugue. She promised him that she would organise some medications for Rachel, which would reduce the symptoms of dizziness. Knowing this he tried to relax more and spend the rest of the day away from her, instead of preparing for the next mission. It was late night when he turned in. The door to her room was ajar and he saw a light shining through. Silently he approached the door and peeked inside. The light on the nightstand was on and Rachel was fast asleep on her bed, the blanket tangled on her feet.   
With some swift and inaudible steps, he went inside, carefully took the blanket, and tucked her in. He looked down on her, following the movement of her chest. She seemed so peaceful.   
Dick bent down and gave her a faint kiss on the forehead.   
“Goodnight my Raven", he whispered and switched off the lamp on the nightstand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking forward to comments and kudos!


	5. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The villain never sleeps.  
> You better be prepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 4 am here and I am in a discord meeting with other wrtiter from another fandom. Thought would be a great idea to post right? So I am posting. 
> 
> In this chapter the action will pick up and we will half-way through.

“We have to get out tonight, Rachel”, said Dick out of the blue during dinnertime. Rachel noticed the frequent outings of the “family”. She also exactly knew that she was not allowed to go with them. She pretended she wasn’t interested in them at all, but she was. But Dick wouldn’t even let her go out by herself. Her attacks of dizziness were getting better thanks to some medication of Doctor Halsey, but in Dick's eyes, that was not good enough. Rachel suspected he wouldn't let her out until she regained her memories…which was putting her under even more stress. It was almost a month ago since she had the accident and her brain was still blank. She didn't remember anything, good nor bad. Just…nothing. Every time she tried to force it, she felt stressed and was pissed off afterward. "Okay", she said nonchalantly to Dick.  
“You’re on your own for several hours”, he explained.  
“No problemo. Pretty sure I will survive it here”, she retorted sarcastically.  
Dick felt silent and stared down on his plate. Rachel could feel the eyes of the other members on her. She decided to ignore it. They all trying to make her feel welcome, but she knew they were hiding something big from here. She just didn't know if it was something that also would concern her or not. In the beginning, she tried to ask, but everyone was answering so vague and unclear, she had the feeling Dick had given them the order not to tell her anything specific. It was useless to question them for information. She would have to ask Dick directly and he would most likely refuse to answer clearly. Rachel disliked his bullheaded character even, so she was all the same. After dinner, she put her plate away and went straight to her room. She couldn't stand the looks of the others like they wanted to talk about whatever they want to do tonight but had to wait until she left the room. They all treated her like a raw egg, and she was getting very annoyed. She did ask them to be treated normally, but she was ignored. She felt like a burden and liability and it was fucking with her head. She put her headphones on and turned the music up until every background noise was blocked out. 

Dick knew Rachel was beyond pissed to be excluded from their missions or even knowing what they were doing. Sometimes she observed the team from a safe distance during training. She never asked why they were training, and Dick was grateful for it. Back on the first days after she got up and walking, she asked them what they were doing, but Dick instructed them to keep it quiet. He didn’t want her involved in the ongoing Titans operations, at least not right now. Maybe never again, as he wished to have Rachel a normal life. Perhaps her memory loss was the right opportunity to made it happen. At least right now she seemed to handle her loss quite well.  
Dick put his Nightwing suit on and gathered the other around him.  
“Okay, listen up: we have to get Dr. Shoekeeper tonight. If we miss him tonight again, he might disappear. Hank did observe the warehouse at the Westmoor Park and intel says they change shifts every two hours. We're going in at shift change at 9 pm. Then it’s dark enough they don’t see us coming. Kory, you explained our strategy?”  
Kory nodded. “Hank, Dawn, Donna and I start in the front, Gar, Conner, Rose, Jason and you cover the rear-guard.”  
"Exactly." Dick sighed. "Let's go, team. We have to catch a psychopath." 

“Fuck!”, swore Hank over the comm. “They knew we were coming!”  
The whole team was standing in the deserted warehouse at Westmoor Park. They all been suited up, ready to catch Dr. Shoekeeper and his teams which were bothering them since Rachel’s accident. They checked everything in advance, had external intel on the premise…and arrived in an empty warehouse. It seemed like the thing had been packing up in a haste, just a few hours prior. Someone must have been talking to Dr. Shoekeeper and his handymen. Dick massaged tiredly his temples. That only meant more trouble ahead and he wanted – no, he needed! - to close this case. He had enough to do with Rachel, he didn’t need psychopath on the run who enjoyed keeping the shoes of his dead victims.  
“I don’t get it”, said Donna, “we checked this place ahead on our own! How could he and his cronies disappear in thin air?” She looked exhausted. Dick laid his hand on her shoulder, gave her sympatric squeeze. Donna had pulled many all-nighters the last few weeks to get this dipshit and it was wearing her down.  
Dawn shrugged her shoulder. “Hank is right; somebody did talk with them. We can’t do anything right now…. we have to try to find them again.”  
“That takes weeks, Dawn! Goddamn weeks!”, cried Donna furiously.  
"I know, darling. But that's just how this works." She gave Dick an expecting look.  
“Let’s go home, Dawn is right. We can’t do anything here and we have to regroup until we can do another search for them.”  
They drove back in silence, only Donna occasionally muttering some slurs. Dick observed her, she must be very exhausted. Maybe she was taking the whole thing with Rachel not as easily he suspected she was. He tended not to talk about Rachel with the rest of the team. Naturally, he got occasionally questions about her health and restoration of her memories, but he couldn't answer them. He also avoided talking with Rachel about this, because it hurt him when he saw the emptiness in her eyes every time, they talked with each other. He was deeply fond of Rachel; she was part of his daily life in the Titan Tower. Her not remembering all the things – bad and the good ones – was hurting him more than he wanted to admit.  
They parked their vehicles in the garage and squeezed in the elevator. It was overcrowded with nine people in it, but it started to move anyway. Dick was already zoning out as the elevator came to a sudden halt. He looked around, perplex when the lights started to flicker.  
“What’s going on?”, asked Jason, sounding alarmed.  
The lights went black. It was pitch-black in the elevator, only the emergency button flickering in the dark.  
“Some technical difficulties?”, guessed Dawn.  
“We should be almost on our floor”, responded Hank. Dick wanted to open his mouth to say something as suddenly they were hearing a loud noise above them. The whole elevator vibrated, and the next thing Dick heard to his utter terror was Rachel screaming in agony. 

Rachel spent her evening scrolling through Netflix and listening to death metal. She wasn’t convinced that she truly liked that kind of music, but the constant noise was helping her with her blind rage, which she was consistently feeling and couldn’t place anywhere.  
She sighed as her stomach started to rumble. "I should eat something", she mumbled. The dinner that she recently ate consisted mainly of greens. She needed something with substance. Like a pack of Eggo waffles. She knew there was pack in the freezer somewhere, safely put away from Dick's eyes. She got up and scuffled to the kitchen. She opened the freezer and tiptoed to see inside the freezer section. "Aah", she said as she saw the package of Eggo waffles in a dark corner. She stretched her arms and fumbled the package out of the freezer.  
“Cinnamon”, she mumbled, “prob not my favourite, but they will do.” She ripped up the package and had already the frozen waffles in her hand when she heard noises coming from the hallway. She frowned.  
“Hello? Is there anybody?”  
Nobody answered. She sighed and put the waffles in the toaster. She heard something shattering. Something big.  
She turned around. That was odd. They weren’t back yet, were they? Slowly she moved to the hallway. It was laying in the dark, only the lights on the walls dimly lighted the path in the unknown.  
“Hello?”, she asked again, unsure if she just imagined the noises.  
The lights started to flicker. Rachel felt how her stomach was twitching. Then they went dead within a second. She heard steps coming near her, so she started to back off only to walk into the wall. Then suddenly the lights were on again and standing in front of her, only a few inches away, was a man. Even she didn't know him, she had the distinct feeling she had already met him. "Heeello Rachel", he snarled, "I was looking forward to meeting you." Suddenly his hand was on her throat and was chocking her firmly. Rachel screamed as loud as she was able to do.

“RACHEL!”  
Dick hammered against the elevator door, blindly in his anger and concern.  
“Dick! Listen to me…Dick!” Donna tried to get him to stop.  
"He's up there!" Dick couldn't believe that they have been played by Dr. Shoekeeper. They were led to the empty warehouse to get them out of Rachels's reach. And now she was alone up there, extradited to this psychopath.  
“I know Dick, but we have to think clearly!”  
Hank already opened the skylight of the elevator and was pulling himself up.  
“We’re only one floor away from our floor….I think.” Dick followed him swiftly. Standing on the elevator he saw latter in the elevator funnel. He could climb up there and try to open the elevator doors. Hank looked at him, knowing what he was thinking.  
“Donna is right. We have to think first, bro. Otherwise, we will be no good for Rachel." At this moment they heard somebody tossed up against the wall and Rachel’s pain induced scream. Dick visibly went pale and he turned to his team still in the elevator. “HURRY UP NOW!”

Rachel felt like every bone in her body have been broken. The guy had tossed her against the wall so harshly she could see stars in front of her. She scrambled upwards and was running, dizziness hitting her hardly. “Please don’t faint right now, please not now…”, she mumbled through her gritted teeth.  
"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaachel….don't hiiiiide my sweeeeeeetie! I will find you anyway!" The guy's singsong voice gave her goosebumps. What did he want from her anyway? She stumbled in the next open room, closed the door, and looked around for furniture to mount the door. She pushed a chair, table, and a small bookshelf in front of it, as suddenly she heard steps in the hallway.  
“Raaaaaachel…I know you in there!”  
He rattled at the doorknob and Rachel looked around in panic. The pile of furniture wouldn’t keep him for long outside of the room. She was unfamiliar with the room, but she was pretty sure that the door was the only entrance to the room. Except for the window…  
The furniture was shaking visibly, and Rachel decided she wanted to live and not killed by a random and creepy guy. She had only one chance. She opened the windows and climbed outside on the ledge below the window. It was too small to hold both of her feet on it. Carefully she set one foot on the other, balancing her weight to prevent to her certain death.  
“Don’t look down…just don’t look down…”  
At this moment the door cracked open and the psycho was crossing the room in only two steps. "There you are my little raven." A devious grin appeared on the face of the perpetrator. With one swift movement, he grabbed her scalp and thrust her head into the front of the windows. Rachel screamed in pain when her forehead hit the glass and her crest started to bleed profoundly. The pain blinded her, and she almost lost her balance. She felt like something boiling up in her and she blindly groped after the guy's eyes. Some sort of energy was flooding through her fingertips. She heard the guy scream in agony, and he let go of her so suddenly that she lost her balance.

Conner tried to open the elevator door with his bare hand. Unfortunately, they were designed to keep them closed in case of an emergency and he struggled noticeably with them.  
“Connor…please try again! We need to get in there now!”, Dick shouted. He was behind him on the latter. Connor groaned one more time and tried to push them ajar. Finally, he managed to open it enough, so he could get through. Dick followed him as fast as he could. He didn't wait for the others to catch up and followed the fighting noise coming from the hallway. It seemed to take forever to run along the hallway until he arrived in the open room. He saw Dr. Shoekeeper tumbling back, screaming in anguish and outside of the window Rachel losing her balance.  
“NOOOOOO!”  
He ran across the room and jumped outside of the window, only keeping his feet inside the room. He saw Rachel falling and tried to catch her. He felt only air going through his finger as suddenly he f elt a piece of her black hoodie in his hand.  
The time froze for several seconds until he realized he got her in the very last second. He saw the panic in her eyes as he realized the hadn’t much time before she would slide out of the hoodie.  
“Dick!”, someone hollered his name from the behind. “Do you have her?”  
“Yes!”  
Instantly someone pulled him back and as soon he was standing in the room again, he grabbed Rachel’s wrists and pulled her back in.  
“Rachel!” He set her back in front of her, but she tripped over instantly. He caught her midways and pressed her against his chest.  
She was crying silently and her laceration on the forehead was bleeding profusely. He didn't know how long he was kneeling there with her, holding the crying and bleeding Rachel in his arms and fighting against his own tears escaping out of his eyes.


	6. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the attack of Dr. Shoekeeper lingers not only on Dick and the others Titans but also on Rachel.  
> This forces Dick to make an important decision for her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As @Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97 and I was discussing on tumblr....she gives you all the good teeth-rottening fluff and I give you...nightmares. Lots of them.  
> So...you better expect the worst. I mean...you've been warned.

„Please…hold still…“, pleaded Dick as he tried to stitch up Rachel's laceration at her forehead. She was still shaken up and jerked away automatically every time he tried to get near her. For the first time since the accident, he was sure it wasn't because of his presence, which was nice, but the reason behind him troubled him even more than before. Since he pulled her away from her certain death and hear silent sobs on his chest, she was in apathy. She was staring constantly in the unknown distance, her eyes lifeless. Her body still trembled in fear, but her mind just shut down somehow. Dick was worried about Rachel almost the whole time since he has known her, but seeing her like this was unbearable even for him. "Rachel", he said insistently, "you have to come back to me." She didn't react and touched her bare arms lightly. Finally, she looked up as she just has woken up from a dream. She didn't say anything, just looked at him, exhausted and empty. He started to stroke her arms lightly before he reacted the way he wanted to and took her in a tight hug. It took her some time before returned the hug. She laid her head on his collarbone, it was warm, almost feverish.  
“Sorry”, she mumbled. Her voice was jittery. Dick silently stroke her head until she was relaxing in his hold. Her whole reaction made him feel fuzzy inside, like a spark of happiness who has risen from his heart. But that wasn't time to indulge in these feelings. He carefully let her go and steady her arms. "You have to stay still, or I will never get this stitched up." She nodded silently. As Dick started to pierce the needle in her skin, she winced audibly.  
“Ouch!”, Rachel said, “you aren’t very trained in this, are you?” He shook his head. He would prefer if someone like Dawn would do the stitches, but she was taking care of Dr. Shoekeeper in the interrogation room. Dick clenched unwillingly his fist thinking of this arsehole. He almost got Rachel killed, something which gave Dick the urge to kill him on the spot. The rest of the team realised soon enough that it wasn't a good idea to have him around in the interrogation and he agreed. So, he took the duty of taking care of Rachel and not let his feelings become rampant.

  
"You better speak up, arsehole", said Donna and kicking Dr. Shoekeeper in his torso. Her eyes were flashing angrily. What he did to Rachel was nothing she could forgive. The girl brought her just back to life a few months back and gave her the chance of a second life. And this dipshit almost killed her in seconds.  
Dr. Shoekeeper laughed hysterically. “Bite me, jungle princess!”  
“Better a jungle princess than a sick psychopath with no life!”, she yelled. Dawn sighed. She was tired, not only from the mission and Dr. Shoekeeper but also from the behaviour of her team. They have been in here for over an hour and made zero progress. Which was no surprise as the interrogation consisted only from Donna and Kory yelling at that guy and try to hit him to death, which Hank had to prevent over and over. The moment where Hank was the most reasonable person in the room was no good sign at all.  
“Donna…please…this leads to nothing”, intervened Dawn once again.  
Donna was looking at her like she has been backstabbed by Dawn.  
“And what should we do instead?”, she snapped at Dawn. Dawn ignored her and took one of the metallic chairs of the wall and sat in down in front of Dr. Shoekeeper.  
“Why Rachel?”, she asked simply.  
Dr. Shoekeeper smirked at her and spitted out some blood, just beside her left feet. She ignored it and kept looking in his eyes.  
“I like the young, fearful one”, he said in a greasy tone.  
“That’s not a criterion only for Rachel. You could take any teenager from the street.”  
He laughed deviously and open his mouth to his black and rotten teeth.  
“Well, there is a feisty one. But if you want to know it exactly, I heard about the young girl with the special power in the Titans Tower. I did some research about her, how her foster mom got killed, her fanatic parents used her…and I figured she would be the perfect experiment for me.” Dawn leaned in and tried to breathe in and out invisibly. "What was your exact plan?"  
Dr. Shoekeeper smirked. His breath of mouthwash and alcohol hit her hard and made her almost gag. "I've got this nice machine in one of my warehouses where I can plug in these supernatural creatures like Rachel. It's a kind of measure machine, how much they can perform. Unfortunately…." He went quiet and his smirks went bigger, but he didn't say anything.  
“Unfortunately, what?”, said Dawn loud.  
“Unfortunately…not all of the supernatural creatures survive the process. It’s a pity, but you know…we’re living in the world of survival of the fittest. They most likely haven’t been worth the effort.”  
Dawn felt disgusted and got up, moving her chair back to the wall as suddenly Dr. Shoekeeper spoke up again.  
“If Rachel would not make it, I think one of her shoes would make a nice addition to my collection.” He started to laugh hysterically like he just made a very fun and sick joke.  
Dick crossed the room within a heartbeat, his hands up Dr. Shoekeeper throat without blinking and started to choke him. "Dick…NO!" Hank and Kory were trying to take him away from him, Dr. Shoekepper already gurgling. He pushed both away with no problem and continued to choke Dr. Shoekeeper. Dawn looked at the scene in terror before catching up again with reality. She shot a look at Donna, who was standing there at the wall, observing the scenery. She wasn't repulsed by Dick's action, she seemed to support it silently.  
“Donna!”, said Dawn angrily. She went over to her and started to shake her.  
“You have to do something! That isn’t right and that isn’t Dick!” Suddenly Donna seemed to wake up from her self-indulgence of revenge. She took her lasso and was swinging in the air and caught Dick without any issues. She breathed heavily as she tried to keep him restrained.  
“Dick…you know…that isn’t a solution”, she pressed through her gritted teeth. He ignored her and tried to move away from her back on Dr. Shoekeeper. "Dick!", Donna cried up and slapped him in the face. Finally, he seemed to stop fighting against her.

Rachel moved around her bed, trying to get to sleep. Dick stitched her up and covered her wound with a bandage and send her off to bed. He did give her a questioning look and asked if she will be okay, but what was he going suppose to do? Her thoughts were racing behind her eyes. Why was she attacked? What did the others do? And what was that energy she felt flow through her fingertips?  
She had no answer, but she suspected that the answer to these questions laid in her past, from which she had no memories. At least none she could access right now. Rachel groaned and closed her eyes. She had to sleep, this had to stop. She had the feeling she was turning in a circle with her questions and made no progress at all.  
She was already dozing off when suddenly she had the feeling, that something was moving on the wall. Like a faint shadow of small animal, a kind of bird. She opened her eyes and turned her nightstand lamp on. Everything seemed normal, quiet as when she went to bed. She heard in the distant the intelligible chatter of the others and the rhythmic hissing of the a/c. He shook her head and turned off the light.  
Gradually the fatigue lulled her to sleep.  
  
_“That was not my doing…I offered your friend a path to choose from. Ultimately your friend chose his own way.” Rachel was standing in a strange room, looking in Dick's eyes. They were blackened and no life was in them to see. She turned around, saw a man and a woman, and had the feeling to know them.  
“Mum….Dad?”, she uttered.  
“Rachel”, said the man gleefully. He moved to her and touched her face, caressed gently her right cheek. “My little creation. I’m going to destroy the world with the help of you.”  
“What…why? And what have you done to Dick’s eyes?”  
Her dad smiled and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s now part of the family. Like everyone else.”  
Rachel looked around herself, suddenly seeing the rest of her family standing unmoved around them. Hank, Jason, Dawn, Donna, Kory…all had blackened eyes with no glimmer of life in them. Rachel gasped at them. They didn’t react or move.  
“They all betrayed you, darling”, whispered her dad in her ear. “You think they’re family, but they are the reason you have no real family anymore.”  
“Why?”, asked Rachel, shuddering at the ring of his voice.  
“They killed me.”  
“But…why?”  
“Because they couldn’t stand, that I wanted you for myself. But this time around….I will prevent it.”  
Without warning his hand entered her chest and clutched around her heart. Rachel felt like every breath was taking from her. She looked at her dad in terror. He just smirked and his low chuckle rang in her ears. "I'm going to break your heart, my little Raven." His grip tightened and Rachel felt like she was bursting into a thousand pieces.  
  
_Rachel startled up, gasping, cold sweat running down her forehead. She was laying in her bed, the sheets tangled around her sweaty body, the pillows tossed to the floor. She felt nauseous and her head pounded again like something was hammering against her eyes. She felt vomit coming up her gorge and she got up and ran to the next room straight into Dick’s bathroom.  
She puked into the toilet bowl, her body shaking violently. Her hands were so sweaty, she slipped down the porcelain. She panted and had the feeling like she couldn’t stop throwing up. It was like her body wanted to remove the things she just has seen in her dream. After what felt like an eternity her gag reflex stopped and she laid down on the cold tiled floor. Her heart was beating nonstop, and she tried to breathe slowly, but it was no use. What was going on with her? What did she just dream? Was it real, was it her imagination? Did this man…her dad…actually break her heart?  
Rachel clutched her chest like she wanted to check if her heart was still there. "It can't be…it can't be. I just imagine this…" she mumbled to herself through her dried-out lips. She picked herself up from the floor and clench her hand around the washbasin. She pulled herself up and looked in the mirror. She was pale as a ghost and her eyes redden. Her mirror image shocked her, it didn't resemble herself. She closed the eyes and turned her head down to the basin. The headache was killing her. She had to go back to sleep, but she knew she wouldn't find any one naturally. She opened the mirror cabinet and peered inside. There were a few toiletries from Dick laying around and some bottles of prescribed drugs. She wasn't familiar with the labels on the bottles, so she moved them out of the way. Finally, she found a white bottle with the imprint "Ambient". She checked the label, it seemed to be a sleeping pill. Without thinking twice, she popped two pills and set the bottle down on the sink. She looked at the mirror, feeling the drowsiness of the drug set in. She returned to her bed, laid down, and closed her eyes. Hopefully, she would have a dreamless and restful night.  
  


“We cannot do this way!” Dawn was frantic, pacing around the room.  
“You cannot lose control in front of him! That’s not a thing we as Titans too! We are supposed to be better!” Dick was sitting there, saying nothing. Dawn was right, he lost control and he shouldn't have. But he didn't want to control himself as he entered the room and heard this scumbag talking about Rachel like she was a doll to be toyed around with. Immediately he had the impulse to kill this guy and he reacted on it, without hesitation. What had he become?  
“I don’t understand his fixation for Rachel in the first place”, muttered Kory. "He's sick bastard and he prefers minor, especially girls. And with her superpower, she was perfect for one of his kinky experiments. He would kill her, without even thinking. I am absolutely sure." Donna shivered only thinking of it. "So, what are we gonna do? He obviously doesn't work alone and keeping him locked up won’t stop his henchmen to continue", interjected Hank.  
Dawn opened her mouth to say something as suddenly a noise was heard like something heavy was heaved around the flat.  
“What was that?”, asked Kory puzzling. She looked at Dick. “Is Rachel….?”  
“I brought her to bed”, he said, frowning.  
“But did she stay there, Dick?” Donna looked at him, doubtfully. He got up, walked down the hallway to his room, and saw her door wide open. She wasn't in her room. Within a second he also noticed the light in his bathroom and peered inside. He saw the bottle of Ambient laying around the sink.  
“Fuck!”, he swore.  
“What’s going on?”, asked Donna, just behind him. He took the bottle and hand it over to Donna. She gave him a puzzled look.  
“She took sleeping pills.”  
“So?” "They are known for inducing sleepwalking."  
  
_Rachel felt like floating in the air. She thought the pills would give her dreamless and restful night, but she felt like was constantly walking. Footstep to footstep she took, walking on an endless path. Suddenly she came to a halt, feeling cold air around her bare legs. It felt good like they have been set free. Her arms moved around the cold air, the wind swooshing through her fingers. She never felt that at ease before. She didn’t want it to stop. She wanted to be free, a raven in the night sky. The dark energy was flowing from her fingertips and in her dream, Rachel smiled._  
  
“Oh my god!” Dawn’s horror-stricken voice reached Dick’s ears and he went to her as fast as he could. She was standing in the living room, her eyes locked on the balcony. He followed her gaze and saw Rachel standing on the railing, her arms wide open.  
“Shit!”, gasped Donna behind them, “what are we going to do?”  
“You shouldn’t wake up sleepwalking people, right?”, said Hank.  
“I am not taking any chances.” Dick moved forward and Kory took his hand. "Please be careful. We almost already lost her today." Her look was vivid. Dick nodded and moved carefully to the balcony. He was standing in the balcony door and breathed in and out. He felt like heart dropped once again. He couldn't make any mistakes now or she would fall and this time he wouldn't able to catch her.  
“Rachel”, he said, “can you hear me?”  
She didn’t answer. Slowly he walked to her, keeping his distance. It was dark outside, and it was hard to see, but he saw her powers hovering around her fingertips and her eyes wide open.  
“Rachel?”, he tried once again.  
She didn’t react and her eyes didn’t move. She was in fact sleepwalking.  
Carefully he moved in her direction. "Rachel, you have to come down." His voice was much clearer and louder now. She moved her head as she heard him.  
“Please. You must come down now. You’re going to hurt yourself.”  
“Raven”, she said without looking at him.  
“What do you mean?” "I am a raven." She moved her arms like they were wings. Dick realised what she was dreaming, and he turned pale. Frantically he thought what he could do, and he had an idea.  
“Yes, you’re raven. Let’s fly together.” Watchfully he took her hand. Slowly he turned her away from the sky to face the balcony instead. He positioned herself in front of her.  
“Jump”, he said.  
Rachel seemed to hesitate.  
“Jump, Rachel. We will fly together.” She jumped and he caught her up in his arms. The movement seemed to wake her up and she was no longer staring through him and facing him directly. She gasped.  
“What happened?” Her voice sounded irritated, and she looked around confused.  
“You have been sleepwalking, Rachel.” He held her onto him, stroking her head.  
“I’ve got you. You’re safe.”  
She rested her head on his chest, her breath still hitched.  
“Dick…what is happening with me? What is this energy in my fingers?”  
“I…”, he started but stalled immediately.  
She stepped back and looked up. Her facial expression was desperate. “Dick, you have to tell me! I think I’m getting insane!” Her voice teared up and some tears were falling down her cheeks. Seeing her in this state made him realise it was no use to keep her away from her own past. He had to tell her.  
“I will. I will tell you everything you want to know, Rachel. I promise.”  
He took back into his arm and held her tight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ambient" is actually a real drug and one of the side-effect is sleepwalking.  
> Why do I know that? Because I went a on chemistry research for this chapter and the active component Zolpidem is known to induce sleepwalking. (But it also has been questioned by scientists)  
> Why I am telling you this? Because I was film major, know nothing about chemistry or medicine and I actually consulated scientific resources for this fanfiction. It was surreal xD  
> And I'm pretty sure my browser history is messed up for good because of this fanfiction and soon get targeted by the advertising industry as...sleepwalking psychopath xD  
> You're all welcome!


	7. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Rachel's turn to ask questions. And Dick has to answer this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovelies!  
> When I am posting this I have already tortured @Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97 with little snippets of my new story!  
> So even if this story ends in three chapters, you can look forward to an new adventure very soon! 
> 
> The places I described in this chapters I visited on my backpacking tour in 2016. I stumbled on the place accidentally and there was actually a weeding going, so it's kinda of an hommage. It was also very cool to write about places I actually know personally.

Dick carried her to her bed and sat her down. Unsure he was standing beside it, looking at her. She moved aside and gently patted to the place next to her. He did understand the invitation and slipped under the covers with her. She placed her head on his chest and listen to his rhythmic breathing and closed her eyes. He started to stroke her head gently. They stayed silent, laying there. 

“How we met?”, asked Rachel quietly. 

“Oh…that’s a long story, Rachel…I don’t know if you really want to start with that.” 

Rachel looked up in his eyes. She didn’t have to answer; he knew he had no choice in it. 

“I was a detective at Detroit PD and you got arrested because you vandalized a police car.” 

Rachel looked surprised. “I did? Why?” 

“You were on the run from dangerous people and going to the police was the safest decision for you. Your…”, he hesitated and cleared his throat. “Your foster mom had been killed by these people.” 

“Hmm”, said Rachel, laying her head back on Dick's chest. He tightened his embrace around her. 

For the longest time, she didn’t say anything, and Dick was afraid he overburden her with the truth. 

“How was I like?” 

Dick laughed lowly, his whole body vibrating. “Well…where should I start…? You’re a kind person with a heart for others, you’re so much more spirited than you may think. When I met you…you were so scared and disillusioned with life and the people around you. But I got to know you, how you get stronger than your fear and you’ve been so incredibly brave. You made it out there, from being the victim, who is chased to this self-confident young lady, who wants the change the world.” He smiled. 

“That sounds good…I hopefully will get to be this person again.” 

Dick hunched her, gently. “You will, Rachel. I’m believing in you and whatever is going to happen I am on your side. I am here to support you and I am sure the other see it the same way.” 

“Thank you”, said Rachel, softly. She cuddled into his arms and closed her eyes. She concentrated on his breathing, lulling her to sleep. 

Rachel woke up with the smell of bacon in her nose. She smiled because she somehow remembered days of having bacon and scrambled eggs to breakfast. She turned around; she was alone in her bed. The place where Dick laid beside her and held her until she fell asleep was still warm. She stretched her legs, arms, and yawned. She felt for the first time in a peaceful state. 

Slowly she got up and wandered to the kitchen, where the delicious smell came from. As expected, she saw Dick standing over a pan, frying bacon. She sat down on the counter and smile at him. 

He looked up and smiled back. 

“Good morning sleepyhead.” 

“I hope you’re making breakfast for me too.” 

He looked at her, smirking. “Of course. I know how grumpy you can get in the morning.” He took two plates from the cabinet and placed one in front of her. He put bacon and egg on it and took a toast from the toaster. 

“Coffee?”, he asked. 

“Yeah…I have the feeling I like it.” 

He grinned. “Yeah, you do. With a lot of sugar in it.” He took a mug from the shelf, poured the coffee in it, and gave it to her. 

She shrugged and took the sugar dispenser next to her. “If you say so.” She put a ridiculous amount of sugar in it and sip on the coffee. “Hmm…you’re right. It’s much better with sugar.” 

Dick laughed and sat down. They started to dig into their breakfast, relishing the bacon and the eggs. Nobody said something until they finished. Rachel looked out the windows and seem to think about something. Dick observed her closely. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

She turned around to face him. “Do we have a name?” 

“We?” 

“The people in here.” 

“Oh yeah, …we are the Titans.” 

“And we are…some sort of superheroes?”

Dick chuckled. “Well…you could describe us as such…” 

Rachel frowned. “I think I’m missing something…but are superheroes not stuff from books and films?” 

“What do you remember?” 

Rachel sighed deeply. “I think…I remember people telling me that these masked guys are dangerous…and, of course, I remember Gotham…and the tales about Superman…but that’s it.” 

Dick leaned in. “Do you remember Robin?” 

“You mean Batman’s sidekick?” 

Dick laughed humourlessly. “Yeah, that one.” He went silent and looked out of the windows. After some time, he continued to speak up. “I used to be Robin.” 

“You for real?” 

He took a big sip from his coffee. “Yep, for real.” 

“…wow.” 

“Hmm-mhm.” 

“But you are no longer…Robin?”

Dick placed his cup of coffee on the counter and looked her straight in her eyes. “No. I have now another persona.” 

“Who?” 

“I’m Nightwing.” 

Rachel went silent before she said: “That sounds better than Robin.” 

Dick laughed lowly. “Don’t let that Jason hear.” 

“Why?” 

“Technically…he’s the new Robin.” 

Rachel's eyes widened. “Oh, okay. That’s so weird with y’all…” 

She fell silent again and looked outside. They were sitting there for a while before Rachel cleared her throat. 

“Dick…in my dream…I think I saw my parents. My father especially.” She paused and swallowed. “What happened…to them?”, she asked and looked him in the eyes. 

Dick sighed. He knew he had to explain this part to her. He promised her to be honest and don’t withhold any information. But it was hard for him, to explain it. Ultimately, he didn’t want her to suffer anymore and he knew, he would inflict suffering by telling her the truth. 

“They….he….no, let me start over.” He paused. “You grow up with a foster mom and we did found your biological mother in a mental institution in Gotham.” He stalled but forced himself to continue. “I thought she would take care of you and…let you back with her. She took you to Ohio to her house and it turned out that…she used you…to bring your father back to our world.” 

He felt Rachel’s questioning eyes on him. “He’s a demon and with the help of you, he could enter this world. He’s the reason why you have this gemstone on your forehead.” He looked at it, the bandage from yesterday still cover it. Automatically Rachel touched it and winced. 

“He took out my heart, did he?” 

Dick looked at her, guilt over his face. “I don’t remember it, but you told me that, yeah.” 

“Wow…my life is genuinely dark.” 

“Rachel…”, said Dick but he decided he was done with words. Within a few steps, he was at her side and hugged her, tightly. 

“Rachel, whatever happens, I am on your side. I always will be there for you and I won’t leave you or betray you.” He stroked her head gently and she nudged into his chest. They stayed there for a while and Rachel had the chance to relax. 

“And now we’re done being gloomy and doing something we always enjoyed.” He tipped her nose with his left index finger. “Get dressed, we’re going out!” 

Dick drove her to the Marina district. Rachel could see the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance, glowing in the warm evening sun. She was standing there, the first time for almost two weeks outside, and took the scenery in. She had the feeling she knew some places around here, but without remembered them properly. Rachel breathed in and closed her eyes. The winter sun touched her cheeks, warming them up. 

“Hey”, Dick touched her gently. She opened her eyes. 

“I want to show you something”, he took her elbow and stirred in a direction. After some time, they reached a rotunda at a lagoon. 

“What’s that?”, asked Rachel:

“That’s the Palace of Fine Art”, explained Dick. “You like it here.” 

Rachel looked around, took its unique design in, and sighed. “It looks very Roman to me.” 

“It is inspired by it.” They both looked inside it as they saw that a small party of people had been gathering inside there. A wedding. The bride was dressed in a luxurious long white dress, surrounded by friends and family, smiling and laughing with each other. Rachel looked at Dick and they smiled at each other. It felt so relaxing to something so normal and usual after all the dramatic things they encounter in the last few days. Dick stretched out his arms and put it around Rachel's shoulder. 

“Let’s go for coffee.” They walked over to a coffee place and as soon they approached the counter the barista’s face lighted up. 

“Rochelle! And Dirk.” Rachel looked at him, perplex. “The usual?” 

“Yes”, said Dick and gave him his credit card. 

“Rochelle?”, asked Rachel when she got her cup. 

“I – we – think he does it on purpose by now”, smiled Dick. 

Rachel grinned and took a sip of her drink. Sweet, as she liked it. 

“You like it?”, asked Dick. 

“Sweet is always my taste as it seems.” 

He smiled. “I knew that.” 

They both sat down in silence, taking in the evening sun on a winter day. Rachel felt blissful and like the first time since her accident, her memory loss wasn’t bothering her immediately. 

_Rachel was laying on a stretcher. Her head pounded and she couldn’t move. Someone was calling her name._

_“Was happened?”_

_“I gave you something to relax…we’re almost there.”_

_She felt how she been rolled to a room and then moved to a bed. Slowly she could open her eyes and saw her surrounded by nuns she didn’t know._

_“Easy child, easy.”_

_“Where am I?”_

_“Safe. I’m promised you will be safe…there you are.”_

_As Rachel tries to get up, she gets push back gently by a nun with big glasses. I know her, thinks Rachel. But from where?_

_“We hope we can keep you safe from him. We all have to make sacrifices, Rachel.”_

_She stands up and gets out. The door gets locked and Rachel feels her hearts drop. What is this?_

_She runs to the door and tries to open it. It won’t budge. She lets fall her against it, again and again. Nothing is happening. Her look peers over to a big mirror. Suddenly her eyes are blackened, like in her last dream with her father. Her mirror image smiles at her, devilishly. It starts to speak to her._

_“That’s better. You know you cannot escape yourself, Rachel.” With a loud bang, the mirror image of her reaches the frame of the mirror, cracking the glass in a thousand pieces._

“Rachel, honey, wake up.” Someone is gently touching her cheeks. 

She opened her eyes and is looking in Dick’s face, his hair dishevelled. She had been dreaming. 

“Hey, …you’re okay?” He’s wiping her tears away from her cheeks. She didn’t remember crying. 

“What…happened?” 

“You have been crying in your sleep. So, I came to check on you.” He sat down on her bed. 

“What did you dream?”, he asked. Rachel opened her mouth to answer but seemed to hesitate. 

“Hey, whatever it was…it’s okay to tell me. You always can trust me.” He took her hand and squeezed it softly. 

“I…was on a stretcher. There were nuns…and they put me in a room…and…suddenly I saw myself in the mirror…”, she paused, noticing tears running down her cheeks again. 

“Ssssh, everything is okay. They can’t get to you.” 

“Was it…real, Dick? Or just a dream?” 

“I think it was real…we had run-in with nuns once and at the beginning of your powers, you avoided mirrors. You even made me put down one for you.” He smiled faintly at the memory. 

“…I felt so….helpless. Why I am so helpless?” 

“You aren’t helpless, Rachel.” 

“But I am Dick! I can’t even defend myself against nuns! Or against the creepy guy!”

“I can show you how to defend yourself, Rachel. At least that’s one thing I am good at it." He smiled weakly. Rachel looked up to his face, wordlessly. 

“Okay.”, she whispered. 

“Okay”, repeated Dick. “I’ll show you tomorrow. But for now, you have to sleep.” 

She lays down and he tucked her in carefully. 

“Can you wait until I am asleep?” 

“Of course,” he says and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. 

The next day they were standing in the training gym on the mats. 

Rachel was pretty nervous as she didn’t know what she was to expect. 

Dick seemed to notice her flinching around and looked at her with a reassuring look. 

“Don’t you worry. I am just to teach you some basic self-defence, okay?” 

Rachel nodded her head. 

“First of – and don’t be afraid – I will teach to get out of a choke-hold.” 

“Really? That’s the first move you’re going to teach me?” 

“It’s easier than you think.” He smiled. 

“If someone tries to choke you, you raise your left arm over your head, you turn yourself to the preparator and go down with the elbow and then eventually punch the culprit in the face.” 

“…Sure.” 

“C’mon Rachel, try it out. Choke me.” 

Rachel looked at Dick and grinned. “I mean you’re a pain in the arse but…” 

He rolled his eyes. “Just do it.” She laid her both hands on his neck. Immediately he raised his arm over his head and, turned his body, put his elbow down and she let go instantly. 

“Wow.” She looked surprised. 

“Like I said…easy. Now you.” He put his hands over her neck. Rachel breathed in and out and moved her arm over her head, turned, and moved her elbow to get out of the choke-hold. 

“Great. Now do it faster and try to punch me.” 

“I am not sure…” 

“Rach…it’s really okay. Just try.” 

So, she tried again and wanted to punch him as he easily got her fist and pushed it down. 

“Always keep your arms in front of your head, never let them down. Okay?” 

They repeated the move several times and most of the time Dick was able to catch Rachel’s fist before she hit his head. After several runs, she was losing her aversion of punching him directly in his face. She concentrated, did the move fast and precise, got her arms, and fist up and punched him on the side. This time around she felt touching his cheeks. 

He stumbled slightly back and Rachel’s eye widened in surprise. 

“Oh, wow! Didn’t see that coming!” His face lit up. 

“You okay though?”, asked Rachel worriedly. 

“Never been better! See, it is possible!” He patted on her shoulder. 

“How does it feel to be able to defend yourself?”, he asked. 

Rachel thought about it for a while. 

“Powerful”, she said. Dick smiled. 

“And that’s actually what you are. Powerful.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spend quite the time to describe the self defence scene xD  
> It was the weirdest thing to describe the moves...hopefully it wasn't not as bad as I felt writing it.  
> Comments and kudos are always welcomed and appreciated!


	8. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick decides something over the head of Rachel. She doesn't agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning...  
> I just got up from bed, really late but I stayed up yesterday till 2:00 am and did write the fourth chapter of the new story! That means I am only one chapter away from the halfway point. Halfway point is where I start to make revisions, corrections and then I start publishing. So that means...you probably going to see the new story very soon after this one! I will probably take a break for one week or so, do get me some more time, but you don't have to wait for that long. Intially I planned to keep you waiting for at least one month ^^
> 
> With this story we are heading into finale now. This chapter is more a filler and way shorter than previous one, but it is necessary to understand the finale. Enjoy!

Donna massaged her eyes lids, again and again. Her eyes felt dry and she felt over the point of exhaustion. She had been on long missions with Diana, she knew the drill, but she what she was encountering with Dr. Shoekeeper and his henchmen was driving her nuts. Meanwhile, Dick was outside with Rachel having a nice day, to get her to relax. When she was standing yesterday on the balcony, almost throwing herself to certain death because she took some stupid sleeping pills, they decided it was time to secure Rachel first before they want to do something crucial again. They had to be more protected, wiser. They had to be a step ahead and not vice versa. The dipshit attacked Rachel in their own house, in their safe haven and he walked in there as it would be nothing. It couldn’t be that easy, it should be so much harder.  
After Dick came back from his day out with Rachel, he was standing there in the tech room, surrounded by the other Titans.  
“We have to beat these guys and his crew. We cannot have this happening again.” He looked dead serious, angry, beyond the point of apologising.  
“We have to catch him and lock up him up for good.”  
“What we’re gonna do, Dick?”, asked Dawn.  
“We will find the rest of his men and fumigate them and their basis until nothing is standing anymore.”  
“You mean…”, said Dawn, not believing was he suggesting.  
“Yes”, he said emotionless. “It is necessary. He was in there, he wanted to kill Rachel in our Tower…that means the game has consequences, real consequences.” The Titans were silent, looking down on the ground.  
“I’m in”, said Hank. “Let show him what we are capable of. For Rachel, but also for all the other people he has been hurting in the past. It has to end.” He looked around.  
“Who is with me?”  
“I am”, said Kory. “Let’s finish where we started.”  
“Me too”, said Donna.  
They all looked to Dawn, standing there.  
“What are we going to do exactly?”, she asked.  
“We’re going him to move to another premise tomorrow and give his organisation an ultimatum.” Dick looked into the eyes of Dawn. “Are you in or out?”  
Dawn blinked, looked around, in the faces. “I’m in”, she said finally.  
“Good”, said Dick. “Gar, Rose, Jericho –“you’ll stay here during the transfer of Dr. Shoekeeper. I need you to keep an eye on Rachel all the time. The same thing cannot happen again.”  
“We will do”, said Garfield.  
“Okay, then. Tomorrow at 11 sharp we move Dr. Shoekeeper to secret premise outside of the city. His team then has 12 hours to surrender to our conditions or otherwise, …they have to live with the consequences.”  
The team nodded. Dick looked them into the eyes, every single one.  
“We see us then.”

“So, Dick is showing you some sick moves, is he?” Garfield entered the training hall with Rose, who looked amused. Dick glanced up the wall, the clock almost at 11 am. He was just showing Rachel some basic self-defence moves.  
“He’s quite good, but not good enough as me”, teased Rose.  
Gar pulled a face. “I mean, you aren’t bad, but you nothing against the exquisite tiger moves I have…”  
Rachel looked from one to the other, amused.  
“Okay, kids. Why not show Rachel herself how much cooler you are in comparison to me? I have to do something else, anyway.”  
He patted Rachel's shoulder. “You did great, Rach.” He moved to her ear and whispered. “If Gar gets too cocky just kick in his groin.”  
“I’ve heard that…Dick!”, said Gar in a fake outburst, but Dick was already leaving.  
“So, tiger boy, then show me your “exquisite tiger moves” you have”, said Rose.  
“My pleasure. Rachel, you might want to move to the side.”  
“Sure….do I also have to prepare popcorn first?”, she said jokingly.  
“Why?”, asked Garfield.  
“Well….I imagine it’s quite an entertaining show to see your ass get kicked by Rose.” Rose laughed and high fived with Rachel. Gar pretend as he had shot to the chest. “Watch me, ladies, just watch me.”

After their training session, they were sitting in the living room, watching some sort of action film. Rachel and Rose were laughing about it all the time because it was comically unrealistic what happened, and the music choice was obnoxious. It was about a driver who delivered parcels without asking until he had to deliver a woman. Garfield defended it as French classic, but Rachel couldn’t stop laughing as every time the main character and the woman had a romantic scene the music got all cheesy. Rose started to imitate the female actress with her awful accent and Rachel couldn’t hold it anymore. Even Gar started to chuckle. They didn’t notice how much the time went by as Rachel went to the bathroom and the main elevator opened, the rest of the team inside.

Quickly Rachel recognised Dick’s busted lip, Jason’s black eye, and Donna’s bloody knuckles. Everyone looked pissed up, but Jason especially.  
“What happened?”  
Jason was about to speak up when Dick pushed him back, aggressively.  
“Nothing which should concern you.”  
Jason looked at him, furious. “We moved this dipshit Dr. Shoekeeper, who attacked you the other day, to another premise. He wasn’t easy to handle.”  
Dick turned around and made face like he wanted to give Jason another black eye. “Why did you move him away from here?”  
“Rachel…”, started Dick, lifting his hand placatory.  
“Because he wanted you dead, girly.” Jason was standing in front of her. “The dipshit wanted you dead and we have to move him, so you won’t run in his trap again like a lost puppy or so.”  
“Jason!!” Dick balled his fist and was about to lunge at him when Hank held him back.  
“He’s after me? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Rachel, honey”, Kory moved in her direction. “You just got hurt…”  
“So, what? I am able to defend myself!” Everyone looked down on the floor like they were trying to hide something. “Dick?”, asked Rachel.  
“Rachel…I don’t want you on the missions…you’re too much of a…” he paused.  
“I am too much of what?”  
“Of a liability”, he ended his sentence.  
Rachel looked at him, appalled.  
“You said I am powerful!” Her tone made Dick wince internally.  
“Rachel, I…”  
“You said I should trust you!”  
“Please let me explain…”  
“Liar”, she spat the word out there. Dick went pale, raised his hands to calm her down. “Rachel…” but Rachel already had opened her hands. Dark powers hovered over her fingertips, her eyes turning red. Before they could do anything, the whole team had been covered with dark and acrid smog. They started to cough and laid down on the floor. Dick had to close his eyes because it hurt so much. When the smog finally cleared, Rachel was nowhere to see.  
“Where is she?”, coughed Hank.  
“I know exactly where she is.” Dick’s face was determined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, can you guess the film they have been watching? :-D  
> I just saw it it recently and I think my description of the film made clear what I was thinking of it ;-)
> 
> As always kudos and comments are very welcome!  
> You also can say hi to me at tumblr @greatthingssmallworld !


	9. Pardon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel decides she must face Dr. Shoekeeper on her own to defeat him. But will she strong enough to accomplish the task?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are -   
> the big finale. I hope it give you the right amount of angst and fluff. Well...latter....maybe not that much, it is still me who is writing story, right? ;-)   
> We still have an epilogue to look forward, but I have to say I never expected to end story on that note. Everything I want to do is to give Rachel amnesia. The whole story around evolved from there.

Rachel didn’t know where they brought Dr. Shoekeeper, but she didn’t need to know. She was fully aware that the moment she left the Tower his henchmen were tracking her down. She looked for a dark alleyway, stood still, and raised her arms. 

“I know you’re there. Bring me to him, I am unarmed.” 

Instantly some dark figures were coming out of the shades. They didn’t say anything and only pointed to the black van behind her. She followed them inside, and they drove her off. 

“Rachel….”, said her attacker deviously. He was shackled to a chair, which was connected to some sort of bomb. He looked beaten up. 

“They did a real job on you, huh?”, she asked, gloating. 

“It doesn’t matter, you came to me, that’s the most important thing.” 

“What do you want from me?” 

“I, we need your power. We need the energy to finish our plan…” 

“We? I thought it was just you and your sick plans.” 

Dr. Shoekeeper laughed hysterically. “You all think I would act alone, how narrow-minded of you! No, I am part of a larger scheme. But it doesn’t matter to you, the most important thing is that you’re here.” 

“Hmmh…what you want to do me exactly?” She looked at him suspiciously. 

“I want to attach you to my performance device. It will suck your powers out you and will save it for later.” 

“That doesn’t sound like something which I would welcome or even survive.” 

He looked at her, his eyes gleaming. 

“It’s for the better good…you’re doing this for a greater course.” 

Rachel looked at him closely. He was an old man, his hair ruffled, beating up, blabbering some nonsense. Why was she so afraid of him? She was so much more powerful than him. 

“I don’t think so.” 

Dr. Shoekeeper started to giggle, hysterically. 

“What are you going to do, child? You have amnesia, don’t know how to fight or use your power. And you left your friends back, obviously.” 

Rachel smirked. “Who said I don’t know how to use my power? That’s just something which you all assumed.” She opened her arms as her power floated out of her and her eyes and gemstone turned red. 

“Watch me.” 

Hank was driving as fast he could. They didn’t need a tracker on Rachel to know what she was going to do. They just packed their things and went straight to the garage. Dick was sitting in the van, looking very upset and angry. Jason crumbled down on the other edge of the van. Dick wasn’t looking at him, he just ignored him. It was obvious he gave him the blame that the whole thing escalated. 

“We’re going to be there very soon, Dick. She will be all right.” Donna laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Donna, she has amnesia, she doesn’t even know to defend herself.” 

“But she knows how to use her power”, said Kory, rubbing her still dry eyes. That whole smog number was very unpleasant. 

Dick shot her glare but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t in the mood to debate with his fellow teammates about Rachel's possible ability. He wanted her out of the battlefield, period. 

They finally arrived on the premise, an old warehouse of Wayne’s enterprise. The sky over the warehouse was dark and they saw the black power of Rachel flying around the warehouse. Something major was going on in there. 

“Fuck, what is going on?”, uttered Garfield what everyone was thinking. 

The first few henchmen of Dr. Shoekeeper who tried to attack her, Rachel ditched effortlessly against the walls. She might still have amnesia, but to use her powers was something which felt like second nature to her. Since she stood on the balcony, she was able to use them at her disposal. She didn’t say anything to the others as there was no time for it, and it wasn’t the thing which was the most urgent to her. 

Suddenly she felt like somebody was firing something electric on her, shocks were convulsing through her veins. She turned around angry and saw Dr. Shoekeeper standing there, freed by his shackles, the bomb ditched to the side and holding some sort device in his hands. 

“You could get out there at any time!”, she gasped. 

Dr. Shoekeeper's evil laughter rang in her ears. “I needed you, so why bother? Now I have you there where exactly I wanted you. The others were right; you are just stupid kid.” 

Rachel screamed in anger, raised her arms, and tried to shoot all her powers in the direction of him. But he seemed to expect it and he pointed the device again on her. When the shocks hit her once again, she felt like every ounce of her body was bursting, she wrestle to breathe and realised that she has been lifted to the air. Her body heated up to an unbearable degree and black dots were dancing in front of her eyes. She felt how she was losing consciousness and she was slowly falling to the ground. 

“RACHEL!” Dick was just entering the warehouse when he saw Rachel floating in the air, unable to move. With utter terror, he had to watch her fall down at least four meters. 

“Rachel!”, he cried again and run over to her. He shook her urgently, but she wasn’t moving. She wasn’t breathing. “Rachel!” He shook her over and over. Tears pricking in his eyes. 

“Sorry about that. But like I said…survival of the fittest.” He heard Dr. Shoekeeper’s hysterical laughter and Dick knew exactly what he had to do. Before one of his henchmen could do anything, he was on Dr. Shoekeeper’s throat, choking him to death. This time he would finish his job. 

_Rachel was laying in the dark. Only a faint ray of light shone on her face, like a light in the distance. She blinked and looked around. Nothing was to see; she was in a dark and empty room. Where am I, she thought. Am I dead now?_

_“Gwark!”_

_She turned around to the sound. She didn’t see anything._

_“Who is there?”, she asked. “What is this place?”_

_She heard faint scratches and the flapping of wings._

_“What the fuck…?” She looked around, but the light from the distance wasn’t strong enough. She didn’t see anything._

_“Gwark!”_

_The same sound again. What was that? Where was she?_

_She looked down and finally, she saw a raven standing there. He stared at her with his black eyes, intently._

_“What are you doing here?” Curiously she kneeled and looked him in the eyes. She had the feeling she sawa something flicker in his eyes. She squinted her own eyes and somehow she thought she saw Garfield’s face, hovering over her, screaming. He looked upset._

_“Gwark!”, made the raven again and pointed his beak in the direction of her hand._

_“What do you want?”_

_He moved his beak again in the direction of her hand on the floor. She looked down on her hand and realised something. “I have to touch you, do I?”_

_The raven looked with intensity. Slowly she moved her right index finger to his beak, gently touching it._

_Immediately she heard Garfield’s distressed voice in her head, like a radio which had been turned up to maximum._

_“Rachel! You have to come back to us! RACHEL! You have to wake up! Wake up, please, wake up! For me, for us and especially for Dick!”_

_Her whole head vibrated from the piercing urgency of Garfield’s voice. She took her hand away from the raven and stumbled back on her butt._

_The raven was staring at her like he was waiting for something._

_“I have to go back, do I?”_

_He didn’t answer, just his eyes gazing at her._

_Rachel looked up to the light in the distance. “I have to go back. I have to go to the light.”_

_She got up and was standing there, looking in the direction of the light. The raven moved his wings and with one swift movement, he was sitting on her right shoulder. With a strong-willed face, she started to run in the direction of the light._

Gar was doing CPR on Rachel for what felt like an eternity. Dawn was kneeling next to him, trying to get him away from her. She didn’t breathe and he was also pretty sure she had no pulse, but he didn’t bother to check. She had to get back to life, he couldn’t lose her. They all couldn’t lose her. 

“Garfield”, said Dawn and put a hand on his shoulder, “you have stop…she isn’t…” 

“No!”, he yelled. “Rachel, you have to come back! For me! For us! For Dick!” He pushed like a fanatic on her chest, again and again. 

The other Titans were fighting against the henchmen of Dr. Shoekeeper and Kory and Donna tried to get Dick away from Dr. Shoekeeper, who he was about to kill. But they couldn’t stop him, he was so in rage, he beat the shit out him, even if he wasn’t moving anymore at this point. 

“Garfield! You must let go! She’s dead!” Dawn tried to take his arms away. 

“NOOOO!” With one final push as hard as he could, he pushed down on Rachel’s chest. “You have to come back now!” Tears were falling down his cheeks on Rachel’s unmoving lips. 

Dawn pushed him back from behind, sending him to the ground. He couldn’t believe it she couldn’t be dead! She just couldn’t be dead!

“Ooooohhhh!” 

Dawn and Garfield turned their head as they heard someone was inhaling sharply, gasping for air. 

“Rachel?”, carked Garfield hoarsely and crawled back to her. She had opened her eyes and was coughing heavenly. 

“Rachel!” Dawn couldn’t believe it. She was alive! She patted gently on her back. “Ssssh, honey, you have to be careful…” 

“Where is Dick?”, she whispered. Her voice was barely audible. 

Garfield and Dawn pointed to Dick who was about to beat Dr. Shoekeeper to dead. Rachel’s eyes widened and she tried to call him. “Dick…” Her voice was so weak, she almost did hear itself. 

He didn’t stop, he just went on. He was about to kill Dr. Shoekeeper and she couldn’t allow that. He wouldn’t be the same Dick anymore. He would never forgive himself. 

So, she straightened up, every rib hurting her like hell and she took all lung power she had. 

“DAAAAD!” 

Dick couldn’t believe his ears. Was that Rachel’s voice? He let go of the unconscious Dr. Shoekeeper and turned around. Rachel was sitting up, looking in pain, but alive. Dick got up in seconds and ran to her. He let him fall on his knees, raised his arms, and touched her face, unbelieving what he was seeing. 

“Dad!”, her voice was hoarse. “I am here, I am alive!” 

Dick gasped and took her in his arms. He held as tight as he could. Warm tears were streaming down his face on her hair and nose. 

“You called me dad”, he sobbed, his whole body shaking, “you actually called me dad again !” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcome!   
> If you have tumblr and want to say hi, you can reach me under @greatthingssmallworld


	10. Repayment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Shoekeeper is defeated and the team has time to enjoy some at the beach...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we here we are. The last chapter of this…  
> Just don't kill me, yeah?

“Dick…watch out!”, hollered Jason as he threw the frisbee in the direction of Rachel, but coincidently hit Dick at the head with it. 

“Ouch!” He turned around and gave him a fake furious look. “You’re aiming skills are hopefully better in combat than at frisbee!” 

Rachel laughed whole-heartily. It was one week since they fought against Dr. Shoekeeper and his henchmen. They were locked up now and they decided they needed to celebrate finally their victory over them. They gathered around the beach and made a fire, making S’mores, drinking beer, and soda-pops for the minors. Rachel still didn’t remember everything, she had still a lot of things which were missing, but it was okay. She found peace with it. She found her connection to Dick again, she found her dad again. He was still every time visibly excited when she called him dad, he had been missing it. Rachel was happy, for him but also herself. She felt something amiss in her life was back again. They already started to train again, so Rachel used to learn to control her powers better. That something which happened with Dr. Shoekeeper wouldn’t occur again. 

Rachel picked up the frisbee from the sandy ground, grinned devilishly in the direction of Jason, winking at him and took it and throw it with full force on Dick’s head. 

He turned around back, looking surprised and pretend to be in shock. 

“Rachel! You did that on purpose!” 

Rachel laughed and stock her tongue out. 

“You’re up! You get payback for that, young lady!” He started to chase after her. 

Rachel ran as fast as she could, squealing. The brown sand around her barefoot feet was flying around her head and she was losing balance. Dick took the chance and pulled her down from behind. 

“Got you!” 

They turn around in the sand, laughing and squabbling. They came to a halt, heavy breathing, and still laughing. Dick held her in his arms, smiling at her and Rachel put her left hand on his chest. 

“Hey dad”, she said. 

“My little raven.” He gave her a faint kiss on the forehead. 

“I am so happy to have you in my life, Dick. I might not remember everything we went through, but I feel so at ease around you, whatever happens, you will be there. You’re my rock. You’re my dad, I never had.” Rachel looked him in the eyes, seeing him getting all misty-eyed. 

“Oh Rachel, you have no idea how much you are my rock in life. I love you so much dearly.” 

Rachel felt how her eyes were starting to get wet, too. She sniffed. 

“Stop it, you make me cry! That’s embarrassing!” 

“I rather see you cry out of luck than something else.” He smiled and tucked one loose strand of hair behind her ears. 

“I am a teenager, you can’t be showing all this fatherly love like I am your little girl.” She sat up and looked down at him, still stupidly smiling. 

He touched her nose with his right index finger slightly. “Sorry to disappoint there, but I will never stop showing you how much I love you.” Rachel rolled her eyes and he laughed. It was one of the rare moments, where they weren’t Titans, just daughter and father having fun. 

“So, what up next?”, asked Garfield when they were sitting around the fire and making S’mores. 

“Kid, are you actually bored after one week?” Hank looked at him disbelieving. 

“I mean…yeah, a bit I think?” 

Hank snorted and looked at Dick, who was standing with Donna talking to her. “Did you hear that? Someone wants a new murderous villain because he’s bored.” 

Dick looked at Garfield, an amused smile on his face. 

“I can find you an extra task if you are so bored.” 

Garfield's face lighted up. “For sure?” 

“Yeah, like resort the compartment in the training hall. It’s a total mess in there.” 

Garfield pulled a face and the whole team started to laugh. Rachel took the chance and tried to take Dick’s S`more away from his branch, who was hanging over the fire pit. 

“Stop it!”, he said without turning his head. “I saw that Rachel!” 

“What?”, she asked innocently, as she was trying to get S’more off. She wasn’t careful enough and burned her finger. “Ouch!” 

“I am not going to help you with that, you thief!”, said Dick. “I just had one because somebody is stealing my S’mores all the time! How many did you have, Rachel?” 

She fumbled the S’more down and placed it in on her hand. She blew on it and looked up, with all innocent eyes. “I am still…growing?” Dick rolled his eyes on her but smiled. 

“Give me that back”, he said and open his left hand. 

Rachel was about to answer when suddenly they all heard all loud noise. 

Donna was standing up and looking around in the dark. 

“What was that?” 

Kory looked at her. “ I don’t know…I don't see anything.” They made some steps towards the noise as suddenly the bushes in front of them was catching fire. 

“What the fuck?”, asked Donna. “What is happening right now?” 

Dick was standing behind her, looking around. The fire was spreading fast, kettled them in. 

“That looks like arson to me.” He exchanged looks with the other Titans. 

“You mean someone did that on purpose?”, asked Dawn. 

Dick nodded. 

Rachel was standing behind them at the fire pit, listening to their talking. She got a very uneasy feeling about the whole situation. 

_“You all think I would act alone, how narrow-minded of you! No, I am part of a larger scheme_.”

She remembered his words and she asked herself for the past week what that exactly meant. But now she knew what he was telling her. Dr. Shoekeeper was only the beginning and she had only one chance to save her family. 

“We have to somehow get out here”, said Donna feeling as the fire was getting closer to them. 

“We will, but first we have to gather our things”, said Dick and turned around to the fire pit. It was empty. 

“Where is Rachel?”, he asked the others. 

“Wasn’t she at the fire pit?”, said Dawn and turned around. “Oh.” 

“Rachel?”, Dick screamed and went to the fire pit. Her things were gone. 

“Where is she?”, he barked at Garfield who was standing near the fire pit. 

“I don’t know, she was there and then I turned around and she just…vanished.” 

Panic was rising in Dick. He looked around, the only thing was he seeing was the spreading fire and Rachel nowhere to find. He shouted her name from the top of his lungs. 

“RACHEL!” 

**Rachel story will continue in "Rachel's Escape", Part II of "The Long Journey Home"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: I DIDN'T PLAN THIS!  
> When I planned the epilogue it was all about the fluff, one year later and Rachel didn't regain whole of her memories but she was okay with it. During writing the story I thought "Screw that, I am enjoying that too much" and I ended up sketching out a trilogy. Even after that I have already plans... don't ask, blame my tireless brain.  
> I am almost done on the second part and it's even longer than the first one. It involves the heavenly the DCU in general, especially the last part. Dick and Rachel will always be my main focus. So if you are into that I hopefully will continue reading. 
> 
> I will make some changes in my schedule tough. We will have break of 2 weeks and the Rachel's Escape will start posted from the 11th August 2020 on every tuesday and friday. 
> 
> Before I end here I want to thank you the most lovely @Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97  
> During writing this fic I've got so much encouragement and love I can ever imagine from her and it was also the beginning of a wonderful friendship. I gifted this part to you because you were the reason which get me going and showed me that I am bigger than my doubts. For that I am deeply grateful. 
> 
> We will see us and I keep going on  
> yours reddish ☂️


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